There are four types of people that most narcissists and psychopaths tend to steer clear of. Learn these four types to better protect yourself if you feel like you’re in the presence of a potentially toxic person. You can tailor these tips and tools to your specific circumstances, keeping your safety in mind.
(1) Other narcissists like them.
Don’t worry, we’re not actually suggesting that you become a narcissist or even embody any traits. But if you put on more of a facade that shows that you will Not be sympathetic to a narcissist’s pity ploys and you don’t have as much empathy for bullies or a great deal of emotion right off the bat, narcissists won’t see you as a good source of narcissistic offer (supply consists of sources of validation for the narcissist such as ego shots, praise, resources, attention and sex). Narcissists and psychopaths look for traits like empathy, compassion, sentimentality, understanding, forgiveness and resilience in the face of abuse from their partners. You need to dial in some of these traits if you want to avoid getting caught on their radar. Unless a narcissist or psychopath has a shared agenda, they need another toxic personality to join them (such as masterminding a bank robbery or collectively and bullying a talented collaborator), they usually don’t want to spend too much time with other narcissists and psychopaths like themselves. This is because being in the company of unempathic and insensitive people gives the narcissist little stimulation or emotion to feed on. Narcissistic fellow narcissists are more like cronies or groupies who do their bidding. But they are not people whose company they really enjoy (if you want a view of this dynamic, think about it Draco Malfoy and his henchmen, Crabbe and Goyle). They prefer the attention of their empathetic victims.
(2) People they can’t control, who strategically use their dark side to set boundaries, and who are unpredictable.
Narcissists and psychopaths operate from a set of core beliefs about potential victims and human nature in general. They believe that empathic humans will react and act in predictable ways to their manipulation and that their own morality and empathy will prevent them from being anything but loyal to the narcissist. Once bombed with love, the victim is expected to invest in the relationship and follow through on their perceived obligations to the narcissist. If devalued, the victim will pursue the narcissist. If a the jealousy of the victims is provoked, the victim will compete for the narcissist and not betray the narcissist in return. Self gas litthe victim will experience cognitive dissonance and relying on the narcissist. Self walled upthe victim will try to win back the favor of the narcissist. If the narcissist cries crocodile tears, the victim will embrace the narcissist with forgiveness. However, narcissists cannot deal with unpredictable victims who do not follow these patterns and actively protect and defend themselves. These are victim types that they cannot exploit in the long run because these victims don’t stay loyal, they don’t forgive, they don’t readily disclose their vulnerabilities to the narcissist, and their reactions to the narcissist’s patterns don’t work as intended.
These are the unpredictable victim types who put their own ego above the needs of narcissists or any fake morality imposed and strategically use one’s dark side to detach from the narcissist and move forward. These are the types of unpredictable victims who withdraw their attention completely when the narcissist tries one of their manipulation tactics and slow down the love bombing, stopping the narcissist’s cycle of abuse before it even begins. They are the first people to avoid the concepts of loyalty as soon as the narcissist betrays them. They are the types who document the narcissist’s behavior to bring legal consequences or who consult with the narcissist’s other victims to compare notes. They are the ones who gather information about the narcissist and find out who they really are to protect themselves before they get involved in the relationship or before the narcissist gathers information about them. They throw a wrench into the works of the narcissist’s schemes by adding an element of unpredictability that the narcissist was not expecting.
For example, if a narcissist goes out of his way to try and provoke jealousy in you, the unpredictable type of victim may seem bored and soon pursue another dating partner, only for the narcissist to witness him in baffled amazement. Or, if the narcissist tries the silent treatment, the unpredictable victim may go on vacation and enjoy the narcissist’s silence, engaging in decadent self-care. Unpredictable victims are not the type who feel blocked by any moral obligation to the narcissist once the narcissist violates them in their mind, the narcissist is a predatory type and will do whatever it takes to survive, just like all animals do . They are masters of playing the stupid fox to fool the narcissist long enough to do so leak before the narcissist realizes it. Usually it is also the victims who discard the narcissist first. The narcissist therefore recognizes that this is not a victim he can successfully manipulate without facing consequences and without suffering ego damage, even though he is likely to obsess over such unpredictable victims simply because those victims refused to play the games of the narcissist. narcissist.
(3) People who are more successful, talented, attractive, or more loved than they are (unless they directly benefit them).
Unless a narcissist is using you for financial resources, status by partnership, or as an arm pleasure, they have a deep pathological and malignant envy of those who surpass them in the areas of success, talent and attractiveness. They don’t like it when victims have a great deal of external validation besides them because it makes that victim less susceptible to their manipulation. Are quite jealous of the positive attention their victims receive from others. This is why they try so hard to devalue these victims early on. It is an automatic reflex for them to try to bring down anyone who triggers their sense of entitlement and inferiority or questions their grandiose vision of themselves by simply existing in their strengths. They want a victim they can control, not someone they have to fight over again and again. Even worse? They despise victims who are self-confident and unwilling to put up with their bullshit. If you become a little more self-centered than the narcissist and put yourself on a pedestal with a strong and unshakable self-concept, they will likely leave you alone to hunt down people who are more willing to adore them. Even better, to level up in all areas of your life so that you have multiple sources of support outside of them. Even if they keep picking on you because they like a challenge, they will eventually burn out.
(4) People who call them out, hold them accountable, honor their own anger, and it’s not easy gas lit.
People who are willing and able to hold narcissists and psychopaths accountable and constantly call them out never last long in relationships with them. This is a good thing! The narcissist seeks to devalue and discard victims who continually impose healthy boundaries and honor your sense of anger and outrage in response to the violations suffered. Narcissists and psychopaths also fear those who might expose them and give them a taste of their own medicine or might present them with consequences for their behavior. Instead, they seek out victims invested in forgiveness and turn the other cheek to tolerate abuse they fear victims who may attempt to take revenge or revenge on the narcissist in intelligent and constructive ways. If you hint that you are unwilling to let bygones be bygones and casually mention stories suggesting that you regularly hold people accountable for their actions, or even mirror the narcissist’s behavior in any way, a narcissist may be less likely to continue to interact with you . Remember: narcissists want to be with the person who chants kumbaya, shows them cuddling compassion, and says healing prayers for them during a candlelight service, not the person who happily sent their ex to jail.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist or psychopath, you are not alone and help is out there. You deserve support. You may want to elaborate your traumas with a validating mental health professional on your journey to healing and freedom.
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